It's true what some say: Dating is, in fact, a science. In her new book Dollars and Sex: How Economics Influences Sex and Love, author Marina Adshade explains how economics can help you find a more satisfying relationship. “By looking at your romantic interactions from an economist’s perspective, you can take the emotion out and understand why you make the choices you do in a more objective way,” says Adshade, a professor of Vancouver School of Economics.
For Dollars and Sex, Adshade spent 5 years researching the parallels between economics and sex. Here, she shares five tried-and-true theories that can help you change the path of your relationships.
1. Understand your depreciating value.
Say you’re in the market for a truck and see two almost identical cars on the lot, with one exception: car no. 1 has been sitting there for a few months, while car no. 2 came in yesterday. Which one are you going to drive away with? No doubt, you’ll prefer new goods to an old lemon. Your time spent solo works in the same way. “When you’re off the market for a long time, it makes people worried about your value,” says Adshade. Don’t scare your new date away by bragging that the last time you had a serious girlfriend, Terrell Owens still played football. Avoid sending a negative signal by switching dating sites every year, or give a valid reason that defends your single status. (You’ve recently moved to a new city, or your last job required a lot of travel).
2. Avoid a thin dating market.
One of the benefits of online dating is the ability to filter potential mates. (Not a sports fan? No thanks!) Yet, doing so can substantially diminish your chances of meeting a perfectly compatible woman. By eliminating entire categories, especially those based on race, religion and education, you’re actually lowering the quality of your matches, Adshade says. Stay open-minded and be careful about which boxes you check off. The same can apply to dating outside cyber world: If you’re routinely going to the same nightclub, you might miss Ms. Right.
3. Ignore the time and money that went into a relationship.
Economists warn against taking your past expenditures (sunk costs) into consideration when making a financial decision. Instead, focus on future costs. Although you might be tempted to pour extra energy into a long-term relationship that has issues, the bailout strategy isn't the best way to go. When you realize that you love your girlfriend, but you’re not in love with her anymore, it’s time to reconsider if the union has a valuable future. You decision shouldn’t be swayed by the fact that you’ve already invested several years or that you have an apartment together, says Adshade.
4. Get out of a dating recession.
Yes, the economy is still shaky and the fear of unemployment looms. Perhaps it’s not the ideal time to splurge on socializing, but you have to look at dating expenses with confidence. The government touts that spending is the fastest way to get out of a recession. Following this advice increases your chances of starting a relationship. Although a dinner for two can set you back $60, courting in style will score major points. “Women are not trying to profit from a free dinner,” says Adshade. “But by picking up the check, you’re sending a signal that you want to invest in this relationship, and women are very receptive to that.”
5. Calculate the cost of cheating.
Let’s say you’ve been dating your girlfriend for a year, spending at least $1,500 on her. If you stray, there's a 50 percent chance she’ll find out. Using cost-benefit analysis as a model, your expected cost equals equals your expenditure multiplied by the probability of being caught. In this case, $750. The stakes go up with the investment—factor in things like houses and mortgages, and you can do the math. “Not only will you be losing capital, but you'll do worse in the future dating market as other women learn your history,” says Adshade. Relationships are cartels, of sorts. Two entities get together and form an agreement, like setting a certain price. If one of the businesses cheats and lowers the price, he may profit in the short run, but eventually, he'll be punished by other businesses.
