AGE 11
Someone put their mouth on mine and I did not enjoy it, but it happened.
AGE 13
It's 8 p.m. and Shereesa's parents are out of town and apparently we're going to play this game called 7 Minutes in Heaven. Crap, I've been chosen. And now I'm in a closet with Tyler Bronson who is OK, I guess, oh shit, now we're kissing.
AGE 15
Do I use tongue?
AGE 16
OK, I get that I use tongue, but how do I use tongue? What he's doing feels awful.
AGE 17
I completely have this kissing thing down, what with having kissed upward of five people at this point. I could kiss for hours and hours and do nothing but that and still feel incredible.
AGE 18
I made out with, like, 15 people at this party and I don't care because no parents, woooooooo!
AGE 20
OK, so I wanted to make out with Bryce but he's, like, all over the place with Felicia right now, so I think I'll go to a few parties tonight and see if I meet any new people I could make out with. Honestly, the world is full of makeout possibilities and probably will be for the rest of my life because I am young and because no rules!
AGES 21–22
[A series of sloppy drunk kisses I kind of remember and from what I recall, I regret them.]
AGES 23–24
I want to be in an actual relationship. I think that shows maturity and dignity. That said, I would put my face on any one of my Urban Outfitters coworkers and what the hell, I probably will before I quit.
AGE 25
You know what? I am so sick of just sitting next to someone and we both know we want to make out with each other. Enough of this shit. Next time I'm in that situation, I'm just gonna go for it. OK, the next next time. Like, the one after that.
AGES 26–28
I want to make out with you, so here's my face on your face. I don't have time to wait for whatever move you thought you were going to make at some point. Let's be honest, Dave, you have no moves.
AGE 29
When we kiss, I want it to be passionate and meaningful, but since that's not going to happen, let's just skip it and have sex because who cares.
AGE 30
God, making out with you is the best. I feel like I could make out with only you for the rest of my life and be completely happy. Wait, is that what love is? Cool.
