She chose you over her boyfriend—score! But are you screwed if you stole your girl from another dude?
In a new study from the University of South Alabama, researchers found that people who were lured away from their previous partners tended to be less committed, satisfied, and invested in their current relationships than those who were single when they began dating.
If you feel like her eyes are constantly sizing up other guys, you might be right. People who were “mate poached” also pay more attention to potential alternatives—and are more likely to actually cheat to score with one of them.
That could be due to a combination of narcissism and something called unrestricted sociosexual attitudes—a desire and willingness to have sex with people outside a committed relationship—that’s often found in partners who have been poached, says study author Joshua Foster, Ph.D.
And past behavior tends to be a good predictor of the future, he says. So if she was scoping out attractive partners while she was in her last relationship, it might be something she continues when she’s with you.
But you don’t necessarily need to freak out if she jumped ship from her last lover to shack up with you. “People get poached for a variety of reasons,” says Foster. Maybe her old flame was a big jerk, or even abusive. In those cases, the problem would be with him.
If she has a track record of hopping between guys, you might have reason to be concerned. In that case, ask her why she left her ex, and focus on what you can do differently in your relationship.
