Going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience for a lot of men. They worry about how to act, how to dress, what to say, whether or not to play it cool, plus myriad other thoughts that can turn even the most serene of men into a nervous, sweaty palmed wreck. A first date doesn't need to be such an ordeal, though. It can be lighthearted and fun, but it's still important to make a great first impression to ensure that your first date will be just the beginning.
There are a few things you should consider essential to making that first outing a great experience for you and your date. Your performance on the first date can determine whether or not a girl considers you a creep or a keeper. It can be difficult to practice proper etiquette without crossing the line into perceived chauvinism — that's why we're here to help guide you through this potential minefield with these tips on essential first date etiquette.
Smell Good And Take Pride In Your Appearance
This point so important that it deserves to be spelled out in full: You must be clean and presentable at all times — especially on a first date. It is almost guaranteed that the woman you are with will have spent a lot of time agonizing over her outfit and put considerable effort into looking fabulous. You should return the compliment by making sure that you don’t turn up for your date looking like you just completed five rounds of mixed martial arts.
Ensure that your outfit is clean, that your clothes are pressed and that you're dressed right for your body type.
Make sure that it's coordinated and classy. Once you have your outfit selected, groom properly. By doing this, you are showing your date respect; not only is this essential first date etiquette, it also means your date won’t be embarrassed to be out with you.Be Nice To Her And Everyone Else
Again, while this may seem like an obvious suggestion, it is surprising how many men mistakenly believe that being cocky and dismissive of others will make them more attractive — they believe these are the qualities of analpha male. Well, they're wrong.
An alpha male will stand up for himself, but he does not do this by being rude and abrasive. He is calm, polite and demonstrates inner confidence, which means he doesn't need to insult others to feel better about himself. When on a first date, it is essential that you remember this. Don't be rude to your date; be considerate and charming. When you are interacting with others, remember to introduce her and treat them as you would wish to be treated.
Pick Her Up And Get Her Home
This is a sign of respect and an essential part of first date etiquette: Go out of your way to pick her up before your date and to drop her off afterward. Of course, she may insist on meeting you at the venue, but whether you pick her up or not, do not keep her waiting — this is disrespectful, and unbecoming of a gentleman.
Good manners are equally important when the date comes to an end. Getting her home safely is your first priority, whether that means driving her home yourself (in which case, be chivalrous and do not expect to be invited in) or simply making sure that she gets into a taxi. If she does get into a taxi, make sure she calls or texts you to let you know she got home safely.
Hold The Door Open And Hold Her Chair
Holding the door open for someone is a very courteous gesture that can't fail to win you points on a first date. Like most things, though, there are rules: Do not race your date to the door, as this looks desperate and validation-seeking. Instead, make a mental note that if you reach the door first, you hold it open to allow her to pass through. If she reaches the door first, you can also reach over and hold it open, allowing her to walk through first.
Holding her chair for her as she sits down is rarer, but is still a great act of chivalry. Another classy move is standing any time she gets up from or returns to the table. Using these gestures in tandem is excellent first date etiquette.
Switch Off Your Mobile And Bluetooth
This is another important rule that many men ignore — to their detriment. When you're on a date, the person you are with should be the complete center of attention. In order to avoid leaving your date sitting there awkwardly while you talk to someone on the phone, switch it off. Again, doing this constitutes basic good manners, and is all the more important when you are on a first date and are keen to make a good impression.
Some men may feel that getting a lot of phone calls and messages makes them seem important, but you are effectively telling your date that she is less important to you than whatever is happening on your phone, and there's little that's less chivalrous than interrupting your conversation with her to chat with someone else. If you absolutely must keep the phone on, advise your date that you may be getting an important call and ignore nonessential communications.
Pay Without Being Obvious
On a first date, the splitting of the bill can often be an awkward and uncomfortable moment. It is unlikely that either party will have felt comfortable raising the issue earlier on, and it can seem mean and selfish if you insist on her paying her way. On the other hand, some women feel that being paid for is old-fashioned, and this may even make them feel obligated to see you again.
In order to bypass any of these uncomfortable situations, seize the initiative by paying in a subtle and non-ostentatious manner. For example, give the waiter your credit card at the start of the evening, so that everything is taken care of without discussion. If your date insists on paying her share, don’t be ungracious, but most women will be grateful that you have cleverly avoided that awkward end-of-date moment.
Ask Questions And Don't Talk To Her Breasts
Finally, make sure you know how to have a good conversation. This means that you listen carefully to what your date is talking about, to better understand her and what she really cares about. Ask intelligent questions, but avoid making it an interview.
Be prepared to have your own view on things and don’t simply parrot what she has said — this can appear sycophantic. An absolutely essential part of making good conversation is to pay attention to her face. Make lots of good eye contact (but don’t stare, as this will seem creepy), and really show an interest in what she has to say. Do not, under any circumstances, start talking to her breasts — that’s pretty offensive.