'Tis the season for traveling, and that can mean being separated from your significant other or putting your favorite booty callers on hold. Either way, it's a bummer for you and your partner's nether-regions. Thanks a lot, holiday season. But before you get too sexually frustrated, you should know that there are plenty of hot ways to stay in touch without literally touching with each other. And those non-physical turn-ons just might make your sexual reunion even better, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based relationship expert and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. "Turning each other on when you're apart builds anticipation and is great foreplay for when you eventually have sex," she says.
To find out the most creative non-contact ways to show your partner and your sex life some love, we asked the experts and readers who dabble in long-distance foreplay for their best tips. Read on for ideas that will arouse you and your partner and make reuniting feel oh-so-good—even if it’s just happening after your workday ends.
Some might call it basic, but phone sex is a tried and true non-contact sexy-time staple. In a Women's Health survey, one of our readers said that hearing her partner's voice whispering and moaning makes all the difference for her. And that's probably true for most people, says relationship expert Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Love Detox. "Using your breath, a sexy tone of voice, and moaning makes it realistic," she says. And the more turned on you can sound, the better the phone sex will be for you and your partner.
If you've got the sound effects down, spice up your steamy chat by telling him what you want him to do to himself, says Greer. Adding the element of control can be really hot. Another way to amp up your phone sex sesh: role-playing, says Greer. A healthy fantasy life is especially good for guys who might normally turn to porn when you're away, she says. So by engaging his mind with a little verbal role-playing, you spark his imagination—as well as your own.
And not just any underwear—panties you've already worn. Walsh says that dudes love the smell of "used" underwear because it's full of your pheromones. Throw a pair in his workbag, his coat packet, his car, or his gym bag, and he'll probably go a little crazy when he finds them. So what's hot about this for you? Walsh says the thought of him finding those drawers at any given moment can be exciting. Plus, any time you incorporate a little risk into foreplay, it makes things hotter, she says.
While it can be dangerous to send sexy pictures from your phone (especially if they include your face), snapping a photo of your body, printing it, and sending it via snail mail or leaving it someplace your partner will find it is equally hot, says Walsh. Plus, you can write a come-hither note on the back of it. Take the opportunity to get a little graphic about how thinking of a past or future sexy occasion makes your lady parts feel, says Walsh.
Okay, so this isn't exactly a revolutionary approach. But some readers we surveyed had such genius sexting tips that we had to share. Here's what some of them had to say:
"I send a sexy compliment or ask him a sex-related question like, 'What type of dessert do you want to lick off of my body?'"
"I describe exactly what I want and how I want it, and then I tell my partner about all the things I'll do to him—since I know what he likes."
If you're up for it, sexy time via FaceTime or Skype can be an insane turn on, says Greer. Tuning in via video chat lets you engage visually for even hotter foreplay. She suggests playing a game where you ask each other sexy questions, and whoever gets them wrong has to take off an item of clothing until, well, you know. #NakedTime
If you want to take things a step further, feel free to stimulate yourself while he does the same, she says. One of our readers says she loves this because, "you can see and hear each other's moaning." It's hot even if you're just separated by a wall!
Another way to insinuate what's coming up when you reunite after time apart is a picture message of an extra sexy bra and panties you'll wear when you're with him. The key here, says Walsh, is to take a photo of the seductive underthings while they're on the hanger or on your bed. "The best sext gives a hint of what's to come and allows his imagination to run wild," she says. The anticipation of the big reveal (that would be the lingerie on you) will also be a turn on for you.
While technology is pretty great for instant gratification, it turns out that some of our readers prefer steamy hand-written love letters. One reader said, "It's personal, and it was written just for you." To make this romantic method crazy sexy, relive a sexual moment you've had together on paper or write about a new sexual fantasy that you want to act out IRL when you're together again, says Greer.
