There’s nothing like that first blissful stage of dating someone who makes you so happy, you feel like bluebirds are helping you get dressed in the morning. While this feeling is undeniably thrilling, it can also make you overthink. Every. Single. Thing. Before you bombard your friends with “should I text him or not?
!?” G-chats or chastise yourself for seeing him too much, read on for seven things you don’t need to worry about in the beginning of a relationship.
Being too available. I was chatting with my friend about how she decides when to leave a new guy’s place in the morning. She summed up this universal thought process perfectly: “Staying too late says ‘Hi we're dating, let's get brunch now and talk about feelings.’” Whether you’re nervous about spending two nights in a row together or afraid to seem like you have no life outside of him, it’s time to let go of that fear. If you both want to hang out, just do it. It’s that simple.
He hasn’t texted in a while. Early on in my relationship, I once came slightly unglued because my boyfriend hadn’t texted me all day when we were supposed to hang out. In my defense, it was right before we were going to break up due to being on different continents, so I was already emotionally fragile. When he finally got in touch, he apologized for losing track of time while playing Frisbee. Lesson learned: If things are going well in your relationship and you don’t hear from him for a bit, he’s probably just doing something without his phone, not trying to blow you off forever.
Having sex too soon. We all have a friend who thinks she ruined everything by hooking up with a guy too soon. Then again, there are also tons of happy couples who literally started with a one-night stand. Each relationship is different, so just go with your gut instead of following rules about when you should sleep with him. There are lots of guys who won’t disappear just because you have sex early on. If you think you’ve got one of them and if you’re ready, then go for it.
Going overboard with the texts. So you just sent him a witty message about one of your inside jokes, but now you’re dying to share a picture of an adorable puppy you saw on the street. Give yourself permission to get in touch when you want to. Playing too hard to get can backfire and seem like you’re not interested in him at all. Just aim for a general balance of you both reaching out equally and you’re all good.
Opening up too much. There’s definitely a happy medium between being super tight-lipped about your feelings about him because you’re scared of getting hurt and telling him you found the perfect first-dance song for your wedding. To clue him into how much you like him without putting yourself out there, you can show him with your actions until you feel more comfortable putting it all out there verbally.
Being excessively weird. We’ve all got our quirks. For example, I truly believe in the existence of ghosts and am terrified of being haunted. A friend of mine is extremely proud of the time she spent at spy camp and will take every opportunity to show off her exceptional peripheral hearing. Instead of holding back your eccentricities, I say let your freak flag fly—the right guy will think your quirks are totally endearing.
Not always looking perfect. Yes, guys are visual creatures, so I get wanting to look as hot as possible at all times. But let’s be real: That can become exhausting! So do what makes you feel confident, and don’t worry about not always being photo-shoot-ready. Next time you get caught in the rain on the way to your date, think about how many hot movie makeout scenes start with a downpour. Chances are, you probably look pretty damn irresistible.
What tiny things do you worry about in the beginning of a relationship? How do you put those fears to rest?