In the beginning of a relationship, your makeup’s blended perfectly, your hair is freshly done, and your skin is as smooth as a seal’s. You’re a put-together woman who is “always up for anything!” but still manages to be mysterious. While it would be nice to completely be yourself from the start, it’s hard to do that when you’re still nervous about what a guy thinks of you.
Fast-forward a year and chances are you’ve gotten much more comfortable. Here are a few things you’ll feel totally fine doing when you’re finally at ease with a guy.
Getting really intimate with a bowl of noodles. I can’t stand eating messy things in front of people. I’m always torn between wanting to really dig in, looks be damned, and not wanting to give off the impression I was raised by wolves. Last week, I went out for ramen with Blake and could not have cared less about how I looked. My only goal in life was unhinging my jaw like a boa constrictor so I could get that perfection into my mouth. Obviously I didn’t ignore manners, but there’s only so much you can do when you mix noodles, soup, and chopsticks. Whether it’s tackling a burger as big as your face or slurping leftover milk from your cereal, it’s a real sign you’re past the “omg what if he thinks I look gross” phase.
Wearing your glasses. “I HATE how I look in my glasses,” an ex-colleague told me. I remember when she had a scratched cornea and came into work wearing them, apologizing for how she looked (they’re cute, in my opinion). So when she’s willing to wear her specs in front of a dude, she’s over feeling like she needs to be model-perfect every second.
This is closely related to happily going without makeup in front of your guy. He probably won’t even notice, so feel free to let your skin breathe!Being honest about your Housewives addiction. It’s not that I advocate lying at the beginning of a relationship, but I know I wouldn’t feel comfortable immediately saying, “So, I’m really into disgusting reality TV of all types. Right now, I’m especially a fan of Dating Naked and really enjoyed the wedding special.” When you know he already adores you, you won’t feel the need to hide your love of low-brow content.
Not caring how you look when you orgasm. You move away from the sexy, porn type of orgasm and let yourself do what you must to get there, then fully let go when you do. The best part? That freedom will make your orgasm that much more powerful and end up turning him on even more.
Giving him the pass code to your iPhone. Raise your hand if your phone has some suspect things in it! I get curious about strange topics and also have to research some interesting subjects for stories. My search history reads like I’m a crime-obsessed sex addict. Plus, the streets of New York City are weird, and I take lots of photos of what I see. When it comes down to it, technology holds a lot of our lives. If you let a guy use your computer or phone without worrying he’ll freak about what he sees, you trust him.
Embarrassing yourself physically. I’m more into Netflix marathons than the running kind, and I’m suspicious that the whole “runner’s high” thing is a conspiracy created by sneaker companies. When I finally went for a jog with Blake, who has actually completed a marathon, I was more focused on surviving than making sure I looked adorable. Maybe your guy is a surfer or a mountain biker, and you finally try it out because you know you can focus on having fun with him instead of worrying he'll be put off by how bad you are. He’ll find it endearing, which helps.
Telling him your really weird fear. I have various irrational fears that I have let come to light slowly throughout the course of my relationship rather than bombarding him with all of them in the beginning. Maybe you can’t sleep with your feet uncovered (monsters will get you, duh), or you have to check behind the shower curtain every single night. Whatever it is, the day you finally tell him all about how your fear could turn into reality is the day you’ve found true love.
What are a few giveaways you’re fully comfortable in a relationship? How about little hints you’re notthere yet?