Some couples find that pregnancy is a time for great sex. For others it may be a time of concern and fears. Read on to find out more about making love in pregnancy.
Can I have sex while I'm pregnant?
Absolutely! Most parents-to-be worry about this, but if you have a normal pregnancy, you can keep making love right up until your waters break.
However, if you have a history of cervical weakness, a low-lying placenta or bleeding, check with your doctor first.
In a normal pregnancy, having sex is not linked with early miscarriage and is not a cause of vaginal infections.
Try not to worry if you do get a vaginal infection. Sex won't interfere with any antibiotic treatment for the condition. In fact, it's even been linked with a decreased chance of having an early birth, despite the infection. If you do have an infection your husband should wear a condom to ensure he doesn't become infected too.
Studies have also shown that in a normal, healthy pregnancy, there's no link between having sex and premature birth.
Research has even indicated that women who have regular sex during pregnancy may be less likely to give birth prematurely. Having orgasms may also be related to a lower chance of giving birth early.
If you're feeling sexy and well enough, then it's a good thing to keep your love life going throughout pregnancy. Having satisfying sex during this time is good for your relationship, both now and after your baby has arrived.
Will sex harm my baby?
You won't hurt your baby by making love, even with your husband on top. The thick mucus plug that seals your cervix helps guard against infection. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of your uterus (womb) also protect your baby.
If you orgasm, you may notice your baby moves around more. However, this is because of your pounding heart, not because he knows what's happening or feels discomfort.
However, your doctor may advise you not to have sex if you have experienced:
- bleeding
- abdominal pains or cramps
- broken waters
- a history of cervical weakness
- a low-lying placenta (placenta praevia), particularly if you have had some bleeding.
You may also be advised to avoid sex during pregnancy if your husband has genital herpes. If you catch genital herpes for the first time during pregnancy there's a small risk that it could affect your developing baby.
Will sex feel as good during pregnancy?
It depends. It's even better for some women, not as good for others.
Increased blood flow to your pelvic area during pregnancy can cause your genitals to engorge, and heighten sexual sensation. But some women report that this leaves them with an uncomfortable full feeling after intercourse ends.
Many women find that their clitoris is slightly less sensitive during pregnancy or that their orgasms are less powerful. It's also reasonably common for women to say they can't reach orgasm as easily while they're carrying a baby.
Some mums-to-be find sex painful during pregnancy. This is particularly the case when penetration is deep. However, this can be avoided by adopting sexual positions where penetration is shallow or under your control (see below).
You may experience abdominal cramps after having an orgasm, as this can set off a wave of contractions. This is particularly noticeable in the third trimester. It can be off-putting, but wait a few minutes and the tightening of your uterus will ease, just as with Braxton Hicks contractions.
During pregnancy many couples find that they feel more pleasure from foreplay, oral sex or masturbation than intercourse. So although you may change the way you make love during pregnancy, it doesn't mean you'll be less satisfied!
So if you can, try to keep some level of intimacy going throughout your pregnancy. Not only does it help to keep your relationship healthy, it also makes it more likely you won't have sexual problems after your baby is born.
I've gone off sex since I got pregnant. Is this normal?
Yes! The big changes in your body are bound to alter your sex life. Some women, finally free from worries about conception and contraception, feel sexier than ever. But others are just too tired or feel too nauseous to make love, especially in the first trimester.
The hormones that your body produces during pregnancy are thought to be one reason for loss of libido.
Your state of mind is another factor. If you feel positive about your pregnancy and the changes your body is undergoing, you're likely to feel more sexual. But if you're not particularly happy about the pregnancy or feel insecure about your growing tummy or other issues, this can have a negative effect.
Women who have relationship problems or are experiencing depression are more likely to report that their sex life has deteriorated since becoming pregnant.
Most studies show that the second trimester is the time when women feel the most sexual desire.
Sex drive often wanes in the third trimester as birth, labour and your belly loom large. Many mums-to-be simply feel unattractive or worried about whether their spouse is satisfied sexually.
At any stage of pregnancy, though, there are wide variations in how women feel and how sexually active couples are. What's normal for one person won't necessarily be the same for you.
Will my husband's sex drive change now that I'm pregnant?
It might. It's not uncommon for men to feel as attracted as usual to their spouse in the first two trimesters, but then to feel less interested in sex in the third trimester. This doesn't necessarily mean that your husband doesn't find you attractive any more.
Common reasons for lack of desire in dads-to-be include:
- fears that sex can hurt the baby
- worries about you and your unborn baby's health
- feelings of apprehension about the burdens of parenthood
- self-consciousness about making love in the presence of your unborn child.
Talking to your husband about his fears and worries can be helpful.
Is oral sex safe during pregnancy?
Yes, normal oral sex won't harm you or your baby. In fact, it can be a good solution if intercourse is deemed too risky.
The only thing you must avoid is having your husband blow air into your vagina. Blowing air can cause a blockage of a blood vessel by an air bubble (known as an air embolism). An embolism can be potentially fatal for you and your baby.
Read more about oral and anal sex during pregnancy.
Which sexual positions are the most comfortable during pregnancy?
As your pregnancy progresses, you may find that the man on top (missionary position) isn't comfortable any more. Try the following instead:
- Lie sideways. This allows your husband to keep most of his weight off your uterus.
- Use the bed as a prop. Lie on your back at the edge of the bed with your knees bent, and your bottom and feet perched at the edge of the mattress. Your husband can either kneel or stand in front of you.
- Lie side-by-side in the spoons position. This allows for only shallow penetration. Deep thrusts can become uncomfortable as the months pass.
- Get on top! This position has been shown to be associated with higher levels of sexual satisfaction in pregnant women. It puts no weight on your abdomen and allows you to control the depth of penetration.
- Make love sitting down. This is another position that puts no weight on your uterus. Try sitting on your husband's lap as he sits on a (sturdy) chair. You can control the rate and depth of penetration by standing up more or by squatting down.
Lubricating creams or gels may irritate your skin and cause allergic reactions. It's therefore best to avoid using them during pregnancy unless advised otherwise by your doctor. It's a good idea to clean your pelvic area thoroughly after you make love. Wipe dry with a clean towel or tissue paper.
You can have a satisfying love life when pregnant, and where there's a will, there's a way! With a little experimenting, you and your husband are sure to find techniques that work for you. And keep talking! Communication and openness are the keys to maintaining or improving sexual satisfaction during your pregnancy and beyond.
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